Coming Home: Relationships and Connection, Guest Post with Nicola

Meet Nicola Piccola, one of the wonderful homeschool mothers that Has inspired me in my own journey. 

 

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Nicola is an in tune and intentional mother who homeschools her children in Northern California. Her honesty in her posts has always resonated with me and I find myself wandering over to her blog when I need to realign my homeschool expectations. 

To learn more about her, please visit her blog: http://creativelightless.blogspot.com/p/educational-journey.html

 

People say “the days are long and the years are short.” I’ve found that, as my kids have grown, everything feels short! When we are open to it, we can learn so much about ourselves as we experience the joy and pain of having little people mirror back to us and be intuitive enough to see right through us. Working toward being the best version of oneself is hard, ongoing, slow work for some of us. There have been many times I’ve wished I could freeze time, or rewind it, just so I could catch up or learn what I need to, before having to move on to something else or so I could have five minutes to think quietly about something. One has to be incredibly intentional to consistently carve out this space and time, often pulling from something else.

I have noticed that as our kids get older, the days seem to shrink. Each year, I choose a word to meditate on and use for inner work. For 2018, my word has been happy. I want these short days and years with my children to fill me with happiness and leave them with positive memories. With that word comes a deep need to set and hold clear boundaries and expectations for and of myself and other people. A desire to be happy and fully present for the fleeting “right now” has made me shorten my lists and really notice the growing people in front of me today. It has meant expressing expectations and it has meant communicating and upholding boundaries. This is so difficult and can cause old feelings of guilt to surface. Being lovingly and kindly firm can take energy, but the long term effort leads to happiness and better connection, again and again.

Here are some ideas for being present and connecting right now with yourself and those closest to you:

* Read a daily inspiration book with a theme that resonates. There are dozens. Check out the seasonal books titled A Gracious Space by Julie Bogart or Only Love Today by Rachel Macy Stafford.

* Keep a 3 or 5-year journal. These have a small space each day to write a memory from the day, a special quote or even a note to your future self. The same date, each year, is stacked with the years before, so you can read what you wrote the year before, and be reminded of how far you have come.

* Create a love journal to share with a child. Just choose a simple notebook you can trade back and forth and fill it with messages to each other.

* Join your child in an activity they want to do and give them your full attention. (The same could be said for your partner!)

* Make a photo album of your child to share with them or invite them to sit and look at an existing photo album of them. Share memories!

* Notice at least one positive thing, daily, about your child and your partner and tell them! Do the same for yourself in the mirror.

* Make a list of 10 simple things that are doable right now that let you take care of yourself. They need to be things you can afford the time and money for. Ideas include; exercise, a cup of tea, reading for pleasure, a manicure, bird watching, a hot shower, meditation, drawing, etc.

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2 thoughts on “Coming Home: Relationships and Connection, Guest Post with Nicola

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